North Star, by Dargelos

#OFMD, Stede/Blackbeard, end of season, spoilers everywhere you look

He looked down into that sweet, beardless face; that beautiful face, softer now that the black and grey waves of beard were gone.  It was the face of a child, Stede thought, though he didn’t quite know why.  Maybe it was the eyes, so vulnerable. It was almost as if Ed was asking forgiveness for something. But Stede had nothing to forgive.  He loved Ed with every fiber of his being.

And then the expression was gone, and in its place was the new, thoughtful Ed.  Sad Ed.  Wistful Ed, who was suddenly living a life he’d never have bargained for if it hadn’t been for Stede.

Stede left the room.  He couldn’t bear it.

But later, when Ed sought him out on the rocks, and made him understand that what he’d done, he’d done out of love, Stede’s heart broke open.  And the kiss sealed it. It wasn’t just desire, but something so much bigger, vaster than the ocean, and deeper. They would sail on it together, hold each other up, or drown together, it didn’t much matter to Stede, so long as Ed was with him.

He could drown in those eyes.

There’s always an escape, Ed told him, and he was right.  But it wasn’t the escape Stede had been told to expect.  He’d stumbled around in the dark for hours after Chauncy’s death, finally finding himself at a cove where a dinghy waited.  So he waited.  And nothing happened except that the dinghy’s owner came at dawn.

He didn’t know anyone named Ed, he said, and he needed to get the boat out to fish. If Stede would help him, he’d row him out far enough that he might find a ship going… where?

Stede had no idea, none. Nothing they’d said to each other had been practical. Love had been their map and compass. 

“Barbados,” he blurted for lack of a better answer.

And for that whole voyage home on the ship they’d encountered, he found himself wondering if the look of apology in Ed’s eyes had been for this, for abandoning him.

For betraying him?  Had Ed sent Chauncy to kill Stede?

Unworthy thoughts, wrong thoughts, contemptable thoughts. Ed would never do something like that. No, this was all a mistake. It was fixable.

But once home he made no move to fix it. He became a ghost in his own home, barely there at all for the children, and a nuisance to Mary who could barely stand to look at him.

But her eyes… 

When he told her, “His name is Ed,” her eyes were so kind, so happy for him.  So accepting, that he knew he had to find Ed, the love of his life, and make all this right no matter how long it took.  He would get down on his knees and beg if he had to.

He would find Ed, find love, or find his end. He steered by the memory of Ed’s beautiful face.  He would steer by the memory of Ed’s eyes. 

Ed was his North Star. 

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I never thought Dargie would write fanfic again. I’m gobsmacked. They haven’t written any in years, decades even. But #ofmd has really gotten to them, and they tossed this one off in about half an hour (and yeah I do think it shows a bit) while high on the final episode of the first season.