Hate is Hate Except When it’s Mine. Or Something…

I don’t like making political posts here, it’s not what I intend for this forum.  But there was something I felt I had to say, and it required a bigger stage than Facebook.  I wanted to talk about hate.

We all know that that is, we use the word every day, probably.  “I hate that music.”  “I hate spiders.”  “I hate cilantro.”  We say “hate” a lot, when what we mean is “That music does nothing for me.” or “Spiders scare me.” or “Cilantro tastes awful to me.” We use the word because humans are essentially lazy.  Just look at the evolution of language and how we drop sounds and change words to make them easier and faster to speak.  So hate? A convenient shorthand for the most part.

I’m not going to fuss about using language more carefully, though we might all find we have more in common than we think if we paid more attention to how we express ourselves.  Rather I wanted to talk about the phrase “hate is hate” which is something a friend said a number of times recently.  And in the most basic sense of the word, he is quite correct.  Hate is hate.  But I hope he would agree that hating Nazis and hating cilantro are two entirely different things.  (I don’t think he’d agree about spiders, but I’m not going to involve myself in some nonsensical argument over Nazis and spiders.  You all can do that on your own time; I’m at the point where I am hard pressed to find such things amusing.)

What I would point out though is that there is justifiable hate of the sort we feel for those who consciously and with malice, cause harm or incite to cause harm.  In this group I put Nazis, white supremacists, members of the KKK, or anyone who engages in malicious speech or behavior against a person or group, because of race, religion, or country of origin; because of what they look like, who they love, how they gender-identify, or their physical or cognitive abilities.  You start mouthing off about how any of those things are a problem for you, about how people who are different from you are bad, or how those same people need to have something bad done to them, and buddy I can guaran-damn-tee you that I will have a serious problem with you, and that you deserve it.

Why?  Because Nazis, white supremacists, the KKK and their ilk all indulge in the non-justifiable sort of hate.  Sorry, no, you’ve got no business hating me because I’m a fat old woman, or my friends because they’re black, or Jewish, or gay.

To put it more succinctly, if you hate someone because of the color of his skin, you’re a dick.  If that person hates you because you call him the N word, you’ve got it coming.  And that makes it pretty much a lose-lose situation for Nazi scum.  Nobody really likes them except other Nazi scum.

Which leads me to the question which is being bandied about lately: Is it okay to punch a Nazi?  Well… yes and no.  The rules are pretty much the same as for everyone else.

  1. Is the Nazi attacking you?  Defend yourself!  Punch him as hard as you can and as often as you can to get him off you.
  2. Is the Nazi attacking a loved one or your home?  Yes.  Punch.  If someone comes after me or someone I love or my home, I will hurt them if I can.
  3. Is the Nazi attacking a total stranger?  Wade in there punching if you are able, to stop the attack, because you can be pretty sure that if a Nazi is punching someone, that person is part of a group that’s been punched repeatedly and often legally in the past, and they deserve your support and aid.  Be a fucking ally.
  4. Is the Nazi standing around yelling racist, or anti-semitic shit?  By all means, yell back, tell him he’s a douche and a dumbfuck.  You can even tell him that all Nazis are scum and morons and deserve to burn in Hell.  But punching?  No, that’s not quite enough to warrant violence.On the other hand it is hate speech and the government (local or above) can and should step in because hate speech can be seen as incitement to violence, and is not protected under the First Amendment.

    And lest anyone think it’s clever to say “Well aren’t you indulging in hate speech against Nazis?” I would tell you not to be such a dumbass.  If you don’t get that your comment is a false equivalence, then please go back and reread my explanation of justified hate vs unjustified hate.  And then STFU, because you’re not making any sort of cogent argument, you’re just making yourself look like a moron.

  5. Is the Nazi standing around minding his own business?  If yes, walk away.   I don’t care if his very existence offends you, don’t be a jerk who picks fights just because you don’t like who someone is.  Jesus Christ, that’s what Nazis do.  If you want to make sure he and his kind never get any traction, donate to and/or work with anti-hate groups.  Make the world a better place, not a worse one.
  6. Violence never makes the world a better place.  It just makes you feel better.  And honestly, if you’re at an age where you can even consider punching people, you’re old enough to know that the world and the people in it aren’t all about you.

So… yeah, hate is hate. But it’s never that simple, and it absolutely isn’t a justification for violence.

P.S. Yes, I cuss a lot.  I’m an old woman and I’ve ceased to care what most people think of me.

Mental Health Seems Impossible When You Have Wasps


Don’t let the smile fool you, they’re assholes.

We have wasps in our walls.  Depending on your experience of wasps you might say, “That’s interesting,” or “Yeah, happens all the time,” or “OHGODOHGOD WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE!”  My response is unprintable even for a forum where I don’t often censor myself.  I’m a live-and-let-live kinda gal, but I don’t want those things around my cats.  And Glinda has even more reason for concern since her cats are older, and one of them has some severe health issues.

I am aware that at this time of year the chances of being stung are minimal unless you fuss with them, which means that Peebie is likely to get stung.  Leo, who is big and lazy and covered with so much fur it’s hard to find the cat underneath, is less likely.  Me?  I don’t want to be stung, but I don’t worry about myself too much.  They sting me, they sting me.  I’ll survive it.  Unless I prove to be deathly allergic, and then… well it’s been nice knowing you all.

So, the upshot is that we’ve got the exterminator coming tomorrow afternoon, and until then, we plan to spray the whole house with a peppermint oil concoction which seems to repel them.  Once the nest is inactive we’ll be hanging the fake nests around the house to deter them from coming back.  Again, those seem to work from all I’ve read, though you have to be sure to get rid of any active nests.  So I’m thinking that we hang them in the fall after the first frost, just to be sure.

Between that, taxes, work, and general health concerns (nothing immanent) my rag is being lost on a semi-regular basis.  When I told Glinda I could get the nests and the oil here today I found myself annoyed that she was considering it.  It’s not like I hadn’t considered it, but once I had, I decided that more consideration was just dithering.  I’m annoyed because, like me, she’s worried that the insecticide he uses might hurt the cats.  I’m annoyed because when someone else worries about the same thing, it makes it real.  Until then, you can say, “Just stop, this is nonsense.”

Yes, I’m irrational lately.

I’m so irrational that I look at photos of other places, like Amsterdam and Iceland, and think that if I could just move there, everything would be fine.  Except I know it won’t.  Wasps can still move into my house even if my house is somewhere else (Unless it’s a place without wasps or at least ones who aren’t rude enough to try to move in with you, rent free. Is there such a place and where do I find this paradise?) and I’ll still have all the other problems like wondering why nobody sees what a fucking genius I am.

I can’t run away from my life.  It’s not possible.  For one thing, I’m 65 and broke down.  When you say “Getting old sucks” to someone who is not old, they always say, “It beats the alternative.” Does it really?  Do you have empirical evidence to prove it?

I don’t normally blame anyone else for the way my life turned out.   But today I’m blaming the wasps, and they can just suck it.