There’s always a lot going on these days. This morning I found out about Get Your Words Out and went to sign on only to find that it’s closed to new members. Okay I get that; it’s about what you write in a year. But if I make my goal, say, 100k words in however much is left of the year then it’s a goal, right? It’s not a contest, but a way of pushing myself to be productive on a month-to-month basis. Anyway, I decided that I didn’t matter if membership was closed. I set a goal of 150k for 2012, and I’ll be tracking it on the new spreadsheet I created earlier.
Why only 150k? Well, a couple of reasons: First, I’ve already made it my goal to do a short story a month. If I do that, I’ll probably do 150k pretty handily and yeah, I should push myself more, but the thing is, I have other projects that I’m working on. I have to revise the sequel to Suffer the Little Children and see if I can find a home for it. (Depending on how long I think it’s going to take, I may send it to the same place I’m sending the Scrooge book. More I will not say about that right now. I don’t feel like jinxing myself.) In any event, I don’t want to be unrealistic about what I can and can’t do. I want to do NaNoWriMo this year, do it properly in spite of the editing job which really slams me in November, and if I do, that’s a third of my goal right there. If I do, if I manage it.
So after I did some paperwork, I girded my loins and went out to the kitchen to do some more cleaning. I have the remains of a rotisserie chicken in a pot of stock that I have to dismember as soon as it’s cool, and a quart of yogurt in the oven. It has about an hour to go before I need to take it out and strain it. But I also really, really needed to do a load of dishes, so I finally cleaned out the fridge. That’s when it occurred to me that I was doing all this on the last day of the month, and I thought: How perfect. I couldn’t join Get Your Words Out, but I can have a get it out day anyway.
I’m declaring that the last day of each month is going to be my Get It Out Day. What that means: I clean out anything that’s been in the fridge too long. I put away any story that’s been kicking my butt for too long. I stop reading any book that has been dragging on for too long. I make sure my kitchen is clean, I make sure all my garbage is out, I get the last words of the month written, the last story of the month finished, and anything that’s finished and hasn’t been earmarked for something special gets sent to a publisher. Eventually I’ll reach the point where I can make sure that by the end of the month I have all the chores finished for at least that day. Maybe. I’m not going to kill myself doing this. That’s not what Get It Out Day should mean for me. It should mean doing things that really need doing. Getting rid of stuff that’s been around for too long. Lightening the load, not making it heavier.
Get It Out Day can be a lot of things. Today I very nearly started a fight with an idiot on a local forum. He deserved a slap-down, but my snark got axed by one of the moderators. I gave her grief for it and asked what I could say that wouldn’t get pulled, and she advised me to let it go. I didn’t like the idea. I wanted to get it out, get it off my chest, give the moron what he had coming to him and not let him think he won a point on me. Man I hate that. I hate that in myself I hate it in other people, that inability to let things go, to let others think that maybe they’re right when I know they’re not. (Or think they’re not anyway, which amounts to the same thing, doesn’t it? Yeah, you know it does.) When I see other people doing it, I roll my eyes and think “What the HELL is wrong with you, just let it go! Stop being so tiresome.” I’m actually thinking that Get It Out Day is a good time to sit back and force yourself to get rid of the resentment that’s built up in the last month. Refuse to engage in arguments no matter how righteous they seem. They rarely are. I need to Get It Out of my system. I need to Let It Go.
Maybe Get It Out Day will prove to be a good day to pay bills. I scheduled payments today to pay off my Christmas debt. It felt good even though it left me that much poorer. The money was spent anyway, who am I kidding. I need to stop thinking that I have what I don’t have. I need to Get It Out and Let It Go. And right now I feel like I want to scream into a pillow because this is freakin’ scary.